Thursday, October 13, 2011

Coming Out Day, two days late

So apparently National Coming Out Day was two days ago. I guess I'm two days late for writing on the topic, but I figured I may as well add my two cents worth even though I'm late.

I do consider myself straight. Or anyways, I think of myself as straight. But thing is, despite virtually all my crushes being on guys, I have had two crushes on women.

What does that make me? I don't know. The term "bisexual" doesn't seem right because it seems to imply more interest in both genders than I obviously have. When I asked a friend of mine about this she said "You're just a person who has had crushes on two women."

Do we spend too much time worrying about what to call ourselves?

I also want to mention that my first crush on a woman confused me in the extreme, and it may even have upset me. I hate to admit that it may have upset me, but that's the truth. Why did it upset and confuse me? The crush completely upset my understanding of myself. I'd thought that I was completely straight and a straight ally. I was being forced to reevaluate where I stood: was I a straight ally, or did I fall into the LGBTQ category? Something that I thought was concrete had been suddenly turned upside down.

Although for simplicity's sake I call myself straight, I'm not sure what I really should be called. I'm just a person who has always been attracted to men, with two exceptions.

2 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your heart will lead you to where you need to be. That's what I found.

Toriz said...

You are you; that's what matters!

I've had crushes on women a couple of times... I think it's common for it to happen from time to time, since I know of several others who have had experiences that could possibly be considered gay at some point. I think - if you need a label - that I would only consider someone gay or bisexual if they tended to lean more towards those tendancies. Meaning, I'd only consider someone gay if they tended to be more commonly attracted to someone of the same gender as themselves, and would only consider someone bisexual if they were checking out people of both genders just as frequently as each other. Not that it matters. As I said, you're you, and that's what counts! :)