Saturday, November 19, 2011

Dad

Ok, I've got to rant. It's not as though my dad reads my blog anyways, and if he does read it then maybe it'll convince him to do something if only because I'm worried about him. Then again, it might make him more stubborn...

Dad was forced into retirement about ten years ago by post-polio syndrome. Do I hear you asking what post-polio syndrome is? How lucky you are that you don't know.

Once a person recovers from polio, even if they make a complete recovery as my dad did, that's not the end of the story for them. Years later it'll come back to haunt them again. That's the post-polio. Dad says that it's like having polio all over again.

As a result dad is in constant pain. It has taken over his life. He spends most of his time in bed. He usually doesn't eat dinner with the family because of his pain. True, he's on pain meds, but due to the schedule he takes them on he is in a lot of pain at certain times of the day. And even when he's feeling his best he's still in pain.

I'm used to this. Dad's in pain, fact of life. What else is new. But I talked to a friend last weekend who told me about palliative care, and she told me that its focus is making a person comfortable rather than curing them (which, by the way, there is no known cure to post-polio) and that because of this different approach, pain management is so much easier.

I'm not used to going dad with suggestions, so I told mom about it. She was skeptical about whether he would listen, but she said she'd talk to him.

No luck.

So I talked to him myself on Wednesday.

Again, no luck. He says he knows what he's doing and that palliative care won't do anything for him. And besides (he says), what he's doing is working well enough. Which is complete BS, but I didn't bother to point that out to him.

It's one thing to watch him suffer when I think there's nothing else for it. But to see the pain he's in when I know he's refusing to try new coping methods...what he's doing isn't cutting it, and he ought to know that.

4 comments:

Toriz said...

Maybe he just wants to be left alone; I know that's how it is with me with things... After a while you just get sick of new treatments that people assure you will work, when chances are they'll make very little difference. Just saying.

Sarita Rucker said...

It could be. I just hate to see him not even try when he's in so much pain.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm right with Tori. I mean, I understand why you want to help, but I've been on the other side of the argument and I've just wanted to be left alone for a while. Chronic illnesses are a terrible thing to deal with; they can really take hold of someone's life, like you just expressed.

Get him the information; all you can gather. Then let him make the decision of going or not. At times, when our bodies are trying to control us with pain, all we want is the ability to have charge of something, even it this means just controlling the times we'll hurt.

I'll pray for you both.

Sarita Rucker said...

Thanks, we'll need those prayers. Him for his pain, me for accepting his decision.

I'll try to remember what you've said.