When I was little I chewed on my parent's special edition copy of Tolkien's The Hobbit. I shared this fact with a coworker today and she said "People have been killed for less."
A minute later she said "The fact that you're still giggling isn't making you seem any less evil."
Yes, twenty years after the fact and I'm still laughing.
Oh, did I also mention that I developed a good taste in books when I gnawed on that novel?
Yes, this English major is evil. Very evil indeed. Bwahaha!